dampsandwich: vagisodium: dampsandwich: im not 21 please dont say the A word around me. anchovies great im going to be grounded now i hope your happy
Anonymous asked: WOW, I just lost a bunch of weight using the OFFICIAL TUMBLR DIET!! Are u using it as well?
I wonder if...
I had like 50 friends travel with me to NYC and have them bother me at random locations for photos and autographs and see if random people ask for my photo and autograph just based solely off the buzz my friends created
randomstuff134: sodamnrelatable: take a moment to realize you have never seen your face in person, just reflections and pictures some scientists agree that if you saw a clone of yourself, you wouldn’t recognise it as you, because our idea of what we look like is so different from what we actually look like
lolsofunny: abiak: ‘hey, remember that dumb thing you said last week’ (lol here!)
the-goat-that-rocked: unluckyships: when a friend asks you for a piece of paper and 12 other kids ask you too
kuroenigma: echobo: lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake
bidenette: it was the besta bynes it was the worsta bynes
I hate my friends
iwillmindfuckyou: lunaticphan: So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. Cry your friends are keepers
phlynn: do you ever wake up and wish you hadn’t
hell yeah bitch dis go hard as hell flocka i will suck big dick team slut all...– Susan McSwiney (via kim-jong-trillest)
confusedtree: 3xported: confusedtree: dspazdoesntcare: What the hell did I just watch? It’s me pretending to be a video game character what is wrong with you it’s pretty straight-forward best fucking thing i have ever seen The barrista at the last coffee shop I went to recognized me from this and it was really odd I had no idea what to say
sorryforpartybarackin: its so rude when you try to be nice and hold the door open for people but they won’t come in the stall with you
my college professors use laser pointers during their lecture so I’ll bring mine in and whenever they use it, I shine it on something completely different and then they look perplexed and keep carrying on. This one old dude just shakes his laser pointer as if it’s broken. Now, I have gathered an army of laser pointers. The sky shall soon dawn red and his phd tenure ass will be mine!
meladoodle: my dad accidentally called me dad once